It happened suddenly, it happened slowly… One day, I realized that I had lost myself in the midst of the routine of life and things were different. I wasn’t as intentional as I had once been about being the presence of Christ, I was just trying to make it through the day. Pastoral moments were definitely still happening, but I wasn’t as aware of the Spirit moving through me during these times as I had been before. It feels as if the voice of God had fallen silent… or perhaps it was me who stop listening amidst the clamor of daily work and life. I cried out to God for a response, but nothing came. I felt spiritually alone. And that’s when I stopped listening to God with just my emotions and leaned into my understanding and knowledge of God, supported by the testimony of Scripture. God is faithful, He would not abandon His servant. No, God is still here, present in my life, regardless of whether I “feel” Him there or not. I know His promises well enough, I preach them, I claim them for myself and for others. An image came to me: a parent teaching a child how to ride a bike. The parent is there, one hand upon the bike, the other upon the child’s back, whispering encouragement to the child. They go a little way like this until the parent gives one final push and lets the child go. The child knows what to do to stay upright, to keep moving. The child will either keep doing what is right and ride or he’ll stop and fall to the ground. Either way the parent is not far from the child, running just behind, prepared for either outcome. In the same way, I know what holiness looks like in my life, God doesn’t have to tell me what I need to do, for I already know the path I should travel to seek His righteousness. God’s wisdom and guidance are still readily available to me even if it isn’t quite the same as what I was experiencing before, but difference of experience does not devalue that wisdom and guidance. Scripture will sustain a strong speech regardless of emotional state. God continues to talk to me as He ever has, because God is always talking to us. It’s us who might be listening to the wrong channel expecting to hear His voice. God uses many ways to speak into our lives, why should we not be surprised to know that we should be listening and aware of those multiple ways? When my heart is too overwhelmed, my mind knows the Truth. When my mind is boggled with complexities, my heart is warmed by His presence and love. Even when I am divided, I am still wholly God’s.